PEOPLE SKILLS BOOTCAMP.COM

Sure, there may be things you hate about yourself...You have curly hair and wish it was straight....You have a slight belly roll and can't get rid of it no matter how many sit-ups you do...You absolutely HATE that beauty mark next to your right nostril...Fundamentally, you have to like yourself in order for others to like you.  You will carry yourself straighter, you will be "looser" and you will exude happiness if you really like yourself.

Sure, you are clumsy and never did well in dance class... You could never manage to catch the ball in the lacrosse stick's net-what's it called? Oh yeah, the head, that's right...  W h a t e v e r.  So you aren't a Dancer and you're not a Lax player...but for sure there ARE things you do - and do well - that other kids can't.  Are you an amazing baker? Do you have an uncanny memory for Tosh's best lines? Whatever it is that you do well, OWN IT, share it and others will be very impressed by your skill!

You don't need to go on a shopping spree and buy a ton of Vineyard Vines shirts, Lululemon workout clothes, Jack Rodgers sandals, Lily Pulitzer frocks or designer pieces like these.  Wear your jeans, but make sure they're clean and not too short.  Make sure the shirts you wear FIT you.  If you follow the crowd, pepper your wardrobe with some "important" pieces.  If you follow the beat of your own drum when it comes to style, you should still "care" and you can still look really good. OWN your style-whatever it is. Remember, you don't get extra points for trying hard to "look different".  Vintage works well, but goofy doesn't.  The "Hipster look" is not the same as the ridiculous trends from the '80's.  When you see someone who clearly left their house without looking in the mirror, don't you just want to shake them? Don't be that person. 

Yes, of course, you're a High School kid and you don't often accompany your parents to cocktail parties, mingling with 50 years olds.  But, it's important to be able to talk to anyone, at anytime, about something somewhat interesting. Little tidbits or trivia or being able to share a travel experience and relate it to something you are witnessing with others- will prove that you are a "cocktail party conversation pro".

Do NOT be THAT guy-the one who rolls around on the floor acting like a jerk trying to get attention or talks just too loudly....No one likes the fool vying for attention.  But they DO like the person who can make fun of themselves, or admit to making a goofy mistake.  That's an endearing quality. One which everyone finds humbling, therefore friendly, therefore leading to social success.

Everyone has to deal with traffic, a longer than usual line at Starbucks, or a teacher who's on a mission to make class miserable.  

Get over it.  Deal with it.  

Adjust your attitude because no one wants to hear about your troubles.  They've got their own problems!  Try to adopt the attitude "Be Happy, don't worry".  This will help you far more than it will hurt you.

Temper your attitude when around others and deal with your discontent when you're home with family.  

Trust me, this will work.  In fact, take a minute and think about your friends...No one really likes or wants to be around Debbie.  Maybe that's why her nickname is "Debbie Downer".

Everyone likes a happy, smiling person.  The MEAN kids created and have had their MEAN KID cliques since elementary school. Over the years they've managed to be mean & nasty and they've succeeded in turning off the rest of the school population.  Now one of the MEAN kids is going to run against you for Student Senate.  Over the years you've been YOU-Friendly to the different groups that make up every school community in the world-the Nerds, the Jocks, the Smart Geeks. Think about it...Who's going to win that Senate spot? That's right-the kid who was always friendly. Even though you weren't friends with everyone, YOU will get the vote over the kid who's always been miserably mean. Hello Senator!

Nothing is more awkward than someone sharing an opinion or telling a story and it falling on "deaf ears". That's kind of like taking a heavy rock and dropping it in shallow water in Lake Winnipesaukee.  THUMP, PLOP... you get the idea. Dead sound. Not comfortable for the talker at all!  This will become a memory of uncomfortableness (is that a real word?), and that person will be very wary of talking to you again because that feeling...well, it sucked.  

Try to feign interest even if you're really not feeling it.  Even better than that-Come up with a response that may take the conversation in a more interesting direction.  

Also, try to learn from this interaction.  Work hard not to be a b o r i n g  conversationalist! That might mean not delving too deeply into the Minecraft round you just won...with someone who's NOT a gamer.

They cost NOTHING!!!  You have the power of literally-making someone's day- by paying them a compliment. What an incredible social tool you have in your toolbelt!  Do you use this tool? Why not? WHY NOT??? Everyone enjoys receiving a compliment-guys, girls, teachers, administrators, your family members... Certainly you notice things like kids with new haircuts, new sneakers, someone wearing glasses for the first time in class, etc. Without being a bullshit artist, give a compliment.  Be genuine when giving it.  If there is any doubt about the legitimacy of your compliment, this will backfire big time. Remember, compliments cost absolutely nothing and they can make someone's day-Be a big spender!$$$!!$$$

Open your eyes.  Open your voice.  Open your body.  Be OPEN.

What the heck does this mean????

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Your eyes  Open them and look at people. Look them in the eye. Nothing is worse than someone who can't look you in the eye. The negatives surrounding lack of eye contact are long, and the list includes impressions of sneakiness, lying and other swarmy personality traits.  

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Your voice   What? I'm sorry, did you say something? What was that?  Can you repeat that?  I couldn't hear you"...      BE LOUD AND PROUD!

Don't make me beg you to say what you want to say - SAY IT! Say it loud enough for us to hear you. Otherwise you won't be heard.   If you aren't heard, are you really there?    Be there and don't be invisible. TURN it UP and give your words and thoughts the POWER to be shared!

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Your Body  Nothing yells "I'm shy" or "I'm introverted" -or worse,"I'm socially awkward" than bad posture. Straighten up! Shoulders back, head up.  Think about this-we want our Armed Forces to look strong and be proud...Drill sergeants never say, "Soldiers, hunch over and look intimidated".

How you carry yourself is SO VERY important. Body language sends strong signals and in wanting to be a Winner, nothing says "I think of myself as a loser" more than bad posture.

Don't have body odor, don't pick your pimples, don't fart.  Brush your teeth well, watch out for bad breath, don't pull crud out of your ears and then examine it...should I go on? You get it, don't 'ya?  When your classmates or friends are sitting around and staring off into nothingness, what if they catch a glimpse of you and YIKES!!!!-You just did some gross thing that you thought nobody would see-but someone DID see and...well,  welcome to the world of social isolation!

When you're in public, act like everything you do is going to be viewed on a YouTube video.  If you behave with this in mind, I guarantee you will no longer pop pimples during English class and proceed to wipe the pus on your jeans.   Yeah, I saw you do that last week...